Say yes to stuff you shouldn't, get your ass handed to you.

How NOT to manage pain expectations...

If you’re a pain patient for enough years, you often have brilliant insight (or is it hindsight) into how you go from a relatively pain-free period, back into pain hell. However, this does not mean you won't do it again the next time... The last time I had a major flare up, it was because I got complacent. I let my guard down, I let loose and acted like I was Wonder Woman and nothing could touch me in my little skirt. Well, I say complacency, others might call BS and say I sold out for a bloke. Either way, same result. I’d had no pain for two years when I was delayed getting back from a climbing trip (yes that’s how good things were) and had to sprint for about 30 minutes to make it to work on time, with full climbing gear in tow.

Only 30 minutes you say?

I’m not supposed to run at all so sprinting was World Cup level screw up.

Admittedly, I had run for a bus earlier in the week and there was no punishment the next day (as my pain pattern usually is “payment is taken next day”) so I thought I was getting better. Big mistake. Huge. By the end of that night, I was no pretty woman. I had excruciating leg pain that was a new type of pain beast. It was burning hot.

Normally I used heat for pain relief but this was new and not shiny. After taking all the medication I could safely swallow, I passed out with the hope of a physio appointment the next day. By morning, the pain had dulled and where the pain had burned most (back of my thigh running up to my right buttock), there was a numb strip of skin. Still there to this day.

This reminds me of the best pain management advice I’ve EVER been given. When I told a pain consultant about the numbness and asked what he recommended, he said I should get a tattoo there as I certainly wouldn’t feel anything.

Lean into the numbness, eh? Long story short, this episode of careless physical exertion taught me some new life lessons in: how to explore new pain medications, how to parlay your personal pain hell into a learning opportunity (ok, introduction lecture) for osteopathic students while jacked up on Tramadol and how to test your level of forgiveness.

On the day, my boyfriend at the time had insisted that we wouldn’t get stuck in traffic and there was plenty of time for me to get back for my work shift. I suspected otherwise, hate being late for work but hate not pleasing someone, so caved and left our departure as late as I could... this series of poor calculations led to a two year setback of my physical ability and pain levels.

A few years later the boyfriend (by then an ex) came to me and said he had developed chronic pain himself and now had insight into some the fears I’d had about movement when we were dating. My level of compassion was like Elsa from Frozen, before she learns how to control her powers, at first anyway… deep down I was secretly planning how I could completely mastermind his recovery so that he could regret ever having underestimated me (not as a girlfriend, just as a chick who was going to save the world). Good thing both of us had more common sense than ego.

Moral of this story is simple. There are always going to be times when you will be pressured to adapt to other people’s plans or expectations. That pacing thing your physio might have mentioned will get chucked out the window. Other people’s expectations and your own, will sometimes cause epic failures in judgement. The solution is to have a escape route ready. If you damn well know it’s not going to be good for your body, then have a strategy in your back pocket at all times. You need to figure out in advance how to bow out without losing face or grace. This is harder than it sounds. I know.

Our brains are hard-wired to care what people think. What the tribe thought of us back in caveman times was make or break for survival, literally.

Worst case scenario, if you give in and do what you KNOW you shouldn’t, schedule some hardcore recovery time and do that pesky self-care thing like your life depends on it. As well, be prepared to work on processing some resentment towards those involved, especially yourself. Shame and regret are kickers and not worth it. Opportunity for growth? Maybe that’s a lame way of phrasing it but if there’s lemons on the table, I know now to look for some gin. That’s growth for me, don’t waste lemons because they’re sour. Unless you’re an alcoholic, then it’s Beyonce’s lemonade for you, no hang over and just as punchy.